November 11 at Seahawks (7-28)

Albert Einstein once said, "Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results." Stupid fouls committed by an otherwise dominant defense. Bringing in Tebow for a direct-snap, run-it-up-the-middle two-yard gain and then sending him back to the bench. Dropping passes and getting intercepted in the red zone. Idiotic special teams mistakes. Not getting any offensive points. Based on these symptoms, I, your doctor, can confidently diagnose you, the New York Jets, with a case of insanity.

I feel bad about your condition, so I would like to offer you a few bright spots to help your self-confidence. As your doctor, I believe the condition of your defense has improved greatly since our last meeting two weeks ago. I liked, for instance, how you accomplished this today. Overall, you are tackling better and Cromartie had a good game.

But unfortunately, I cannot come up with any kind words for your offense. This may not exactly be appropriate for a man in my intellectual position, but based on your offense, you have totally lost your marbles. Now, I believe treatment is possible, but it may be quite painful at times and might last past the end of the year. You will have to listen to me very carefully. Hopefully, what I tell you will stick and you won't regress. Again.

This two-quarterback system is not working. If anything, it is hurting yourself more than it is hurting your enemies. It has made you burn timeouts in just about every game because you can't figure out what the play call will be. Confusion won't outsmart a defense. I realize you may have slipped too far into your condition, however. So if you can't get rid of this habit quite yet, try at least doing something different with Tebow when he is on the field. The same five plays aren't fooling anyone, as much as you think they are. So sad. Don't worry, denial is the first step. I also recommend not turning over the ball in the red zone. Part of the reason your illness has progressed to this unfortunate state has to do with your overconfidence, you see? So when you get within your opponent's 15-yard line, try to take yourself seriously for a little bit. Don't, as you did today, allow an interception on the goal line!

Sorry, I just feel so bad for my patients sometimes. I want you to work really hard on your treatment this week. Part of that process should be firing your offensive coordinator, Tony Sparano. I'll see you for another test next week. Hopefully I'll see some improvement.